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Repair tools - 057/100 -

Tools

I bought a set of repair tools. It includes over a hundred screw heads and various items for repairing electronic devices such as PCs. I also bought a junk PC to practise on. I’ll need to repair laptops in my host country as a volunteer, so I want to get in plenty of practice before I go. I hope my skills will help the people there.


Original statement
I bought a set of repair tools. It consists of over one hundred screws heads and many things to be used for repairing the electric devices such as PCs. 
I also bought a junk PC to practice repairing. I will have to repair laptops in my host country as a volunteer so I want to practice repairing until visiting the country.
I hope that my skills will be good for them.

Explanation of changes
1.“It consists of” → “It includes”
“Include” sounds more natural when talking about components of a tool set. “Consist of” is more formal and used for general descriptions of structure, not usually tools.

2.“over one hundred screws heads” → “over a hundred screw heads”
“Over a hundred” is more conversational.
“Screw heads” is the correct term; “screws heads” is grammatically incorrect.

3.“many things to be used for repairing the electric devices” → “various items for repairing electronic devices”
“Many things to be used for” is awkward; “various items” is smoother and more idiomatic.
“Electronic devices” is the correct collocation. “Electric devices” usually refers to appliances like kettles or heaters.

4.“to practice repairing” → “to practise on”
In British English, “practise” is the verb, and “practice” is the noun. Also, “practise on” is the natural expression when using something for training.

5.“I will have to repair” → “I’ll need to repair”
“Need to” is more idiomatic and softer than “will have to.” 

6.“so I want to practice repairing until visiting the country” → “so I want to get in plenty of practice before I go”
This rephrasing is more idiomatic. “Until visiting the country” is not natural; “before I go” sounds smoother.
“Get in plenty of practice” is a common and natural expression.

7.“I hope that my skills will be good for them” → “I hope my skills will help the people there”
“Be good for them” is vague. “help the people there” clearly expresses your intention to help with your skills.


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